The long stages of high school

We all go this part in our life where we go to school, some enjoy it and have the time of their lives throughout grade school, middle school and especially high school, but not everyone gets it easy in school; people in schools are getting overlooked, bullied or just completely ignored, and it isn't okay. Kids in this world today think that its perfectly fine to harass and bully kids based off of their looks, gender, and even their past, they see it as some gratifying act to seem like they have more authority than the other kids, quite frankly, Its selfish and downright cruel. You see, I was one of those kids, I didn't have good grades, I was suffering with severe depression and on occasion felt super out of place, as though I didn't belong. Throughout my intermediate and middle school years I was bullied and teased, nothing too crazy, but still enough to drive me further down the rabbit hole that just never seemed to end. The life in high school never seemed as grand too me as most people would talk about, in all honestly it was just a challenge to get through, though it went by in the blink of an eye and soon enough was sent into the real world by walking across that stage being given my diploma... I had no idea what I was doing with my life or where I was going, all I knew was that I was scared, both of the reality that I was done, and also facing what came next. In high school I never was a great student, I still stayed very silent and never really tried to get out of my comfort zone, I did the minimal in my classes to get OKAY grades and never took the time to crack down on schoolwork, I just was depressed and didn't like where my life was heading. I was a band nerd in school, I enjoyed it, It relatively kept me distracted and I found enjoyment in performing, even if I wasn't the greatest at my instrument. When I got myself into band I didn't know what too expect, However I can say it was a good choice I joined, It kept me on my feet, But this was where things got complicated. At the start of freshman year I was excited for the band season until I realized how much was thrown on me in such short amount of time and realized I had to compete for my spot, I was stressed out beyond belief. From the start of band season to the end of my freshman year I felt I never got a break, from tons of practicing and rehearsals, to dating someone for the first time, everything had its ups and downs but some had worse moments than other. Sophomore came around the corner super fast and I was quite thrilled to see what the new school year had to offer, I was trying to work on myself a little more and be a little more open about some things to good friends, they took it all well and gave me support. That school year I had a permanent spot and had the opportunity to be in a fantastic squad and to this day, I claim that it was my favorite band year, everything during marching season seemed to go super smoothly and did so much better than when I was a freshman; It was after Marching season that my life took a turn for the worse. After marching season had given up I became sucked right into my sad, depression phase where classes weren't going well for me at all, everything seemed to have been falling apart at that time, and too top it off, I fell in love with a childhood friend that starting becoming close with me again, but she was dating a good friend of mine at the time so I just couldn't afford to screw things up, and I was scared of being rejected that I never was able to bring myself to confess to her. I was a dumb kid, I thought staying close too her would eventually show her the actual feelings I had towards her, that failed horribly. When it was around the middle of the year of school she had gotten into an argument with her boyfriend and came to me for help, she relied heavily on me.. I thought I was helping and being a good friend, siding with her story and going with the flow of what she was telling me, It all was a mistake because then the blades came out.... In respect to her I wont go into details about her and her past but in the end it didn't end well, and the pressure dragged me down to where I ended up cutting to bleed for the first time; this was the turning point where it went from bad, to worse. On the daily I self harmed and could only find relief through cutting at least once a week, It never ended me up in the hospital, but it wasn't good. I ended up in a desperate relationship through all of my pain and suffering, I thought it was going to help and become the turning point that I needed for motivation in my life to get everything back together and find what I wanted to go into, But it wasn't any help. Skip too senior year and I wound up with another girl that i sat next too in concert band during my junior year. All throughout my high school I never felt motivation for anything and didn't know what i was passionate enough about to go into, I pretty much suffered and scraped by in high school, this relationship didn't make anything much better, too what I thought was going to be a great relationship at the start ended up turning into a bloodbath, lots of crying and being pushed over the edge on some occasions; needless to say it was such a poor match, however I don't regret doing the right thing and reaching out to her parents about her mental health issues to save her life. If there is anything I learned in high school its that no matter how dark and challenging it may be, its all going to be okay; we all have our own expectations of people and things in this world but its always up to you to decide how it went for you. Looking back and reflecting on all of this has shown me how far I truly have come and I couldn't be prouder of myself for making some of the right decisions and reaching out to save a life. I know life can seem dark at times and It seems like its the end of the road with no where else to go, but maybe there is a hidden door that you're supposed to walk through that will change your life drastically, in a good way. Look for the door, keep an open mind about everything, and don't settle for anything less than what you deserve, which is the world. We are all placed on this earth for a reason, we need to just find that reason, so stay strong, keep fighting and reach out for help. This ends the discussion for now about high school